June 29, 2018

Shiny Dollar Amounts – “Just praise” (Business Jokes)

by Christina Taft in Uncategorized

Biz Jokes: If the Shiny Dollar amount is a certain price, then it must be “good.” (Actually… it isn’t.)


WARNING: It may be OFFENSIVE to make fun of someone using bad, SHINY dollar amounts. I understand. You’re not allowed to say that the price is wrong. I know. The higher the amount, the more they must “get it” and you must praise. EFFICIENCY IS WRONG.

BUT, it is really funny.

For example in school proposals or plans:

  • $100,000 for a NO NAME magazine advertisement (and I think that was for 1 month) that no one has heard of…
  • For a SMALL Business Restaurant: $5,000+ for light up tech objects that will tell you when a table is ready… (How does that help with wait times)
  • $10,000 about for tablet menus for another restaurant/cafe…
  • Totem2Go: no website exists on search, despite the Wix screenshots. Got $250 for “innovation” for taping together cardboard, a print out meme, and that spongy floaty. PRAISE YEEE!!
  • $55,000 for a food truck (oh, food trucks? Many seem obsessed with that, but I think they hardly make any money).
  • The presentation on the bike rack, that connects to an app to lock… was “amazing.” (Bikes – everyone is obsessed with them here… forget cars or independence)
  • Somehow make a parking app (which also doesn’t have a website) that connects to school permits. Somehow, the school will pay them to use it, or people pay them. Alright then.

Anyways… just find this funny…

I am so offensive, right? I literally never hear ANY criticism about high costs.


It’s “scary” to criticize ANYONE OR ANYTHING. Or even give advice.

The big numbers: $5,000, $10,000, $100,000

Spend tons on marketing. Endlessly. It’s hilarious but really hard to deal with.

Remember, IT IS A SHINY DOLLAR AMOUNT. They must know because people see shiny dollar amounts. EFFICIENCY DOES NOT EXIST.

Outsourcing? What’s that?

No, “my uncle/aunt/relative has a job in a corporation/business so I will get a job that way.”

(: …. And, you wonder why Theranos and many businesses get investors throwing money at images of prestige, but no product. BILLIONS. Black holes, black holes!

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